Gone

Posted: March 28, 2014 in Images
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To a faraway land you have drifted.
Difficulty I swallow the pain.
Between uncertainties I stood still,
As a result you drifted away.
My suspension took the best of us.
No more you and I.
As I suck up my heart ache,
I smile hard and strong,
Looking at the could have, should have, and would haves.
It’s too late now,
You’re gone.
Curled up and crying in the darkness,
I’m Sulking!
Looking at you, smiling bright and happy.
I lost the beautiful you.
Happiness has dawned in your life
But your happiness is pinching me to death.

Relationships hurt humans the most . . .

Quote  —  Posted: March 19, 2014 in Images
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banqt3The Present is the child of the Past and the parent of the Future

Quote  —  Posted: March 13, 2014 in Images
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Cracked Friendship

Posted: March 13, 2014 in Images
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107828dl4rsiffxjBetty and Lucy have been Best of Friends for more than 35 year. Both are successful in their own field of expertise and came from aristocrat families. Betty has been busy getting ready for her companies 25th anniversary. While she was at Lucy’s last Saturday she had asked one of her helpers to prepare her some caramel toffees for the celebrations and she agreed. Same evening she delivered all the necessary ingredients for the preparation of the toffees. But she forgot to mention Lucy about the preparation.
While returning from a fun Sunday outing, Betty wanted to stop at Lucy’s to pick the caramel toffees. Lucy came out to greet her and the helper gave the toffees to Betty and went off. But something was not right and Betty didn’t have a clue. Gleefully she went on and on about her Sunday and she asked Lucy if her mom was available so that she can remind her about the anniversary celebrations but Lucy didn’t seems to like the idea and suggested Betty to ring her up tomorrow and remind her. Since Lucy was in a bad mood, Betty though it must have been work stress. Hours passed and Betty’s phone began to ring and it was Lucy’s helper weeping and wailing. Apparently Lucy had screamed at her for making caramel toffees for Betty and had been nasty towards the helper the whole day. When Betty heard about what happened she felt upset and hurt about the fact that her best friend acted in such cruel way. Mostly she felt disappointed about the fact that she did not recognize that side of Lucy.
When Scott returned home from his business trip Betty poured her sadness out in tears. Scott understood situation and explained to Betty saying it’s mostly because of the ego and advised her to send a messaging saying she’s sorry for what happened and to forgive her best friend for the caused hurt. But Betty didn’t want to communicate with Lucy. But Scott knew, gradually Betty will find the heart to forgive Lucy but was not sure if the cracked friendship will mend.

“My opinion is that nobody can make men responsible for the violence against women. Women are responsible for it, “says the Speaker Chamal Rajapaksa, who is the eldest brother of the current Sri Lankan President at an event organized by the parliament to celebrate women’s day 2014.

https://www.srilankamirror.com/news/13809-men-are-not-responsible-for-violence-against-women-speaker

I travel to work daily by public transport and have a 15-20 minute walk from home to the bus stop and bus stop to office. During my daily travel, I’ve been whistled at, groped, touched, leaned on, and stared at. It’s such torture to travel in situations like that but do I have a choice? And it’s so much of mental stress. For the perverts in my island, it doesn’t matter how decently you’ve dressed, they’ll continue with the sick things they do. This is disappointing. The people who are committed to protect you turn in to monsters and the police department itself is not safe place for a girl/ woman to plead for help. Trust me I’ve been there.

http://yasasmin.blogspot.com/2014/03/is-it-crime-to-slap-speaker-till-he.html

For some reason, Sri Lankan’s are afraid to speak up, including me.

Cheese Ball of my life

Posted: March 11, 2014 in Dating, Happy, Love
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07032014189Happiness and love blossomed once again in my heart when I wished the Cheese Ball of my life A Happy Birthday at 12:10am today and called him at 10am after one months of pure silence. Things between us have been on and off and I was reactant to give in because of my pride issues. But feelings for him kept on growing and growing and I kept on bottling them and stored it away. We hardly spoke nor met and he got busier with election campaign. I kept on getting disappointed because he could not make time for me and began to drift away gentle toward someone else who declared their love and attention towards me. I dated the other, for less than 3 months and he was very much in touch with me compared to Cheese Ball but Feelings towards him never changed. Feelings kept on growing and growing and I kept on bottling them and tossing them aside. But a thin tiny voice within me kept on saying, “the boy who spends time with you is not right” I disregarded at that time but eventually learnt that his not the one. In the midst of all scrambled emotions I let him go because he lied to me and didn’t give him a second chance.
Cheese Ball is a few years younger than I. Our age difference and the lack of time he gave me was the main reason why I pushed him away. Amidst all of that I continued to have feelings for him. When I’m with him or know that his in my life, I feel powerful and strong. Today, 11th March 2014 on the day of his birth, our relationship was reborn. When I called, he said he wants to see me, so I quickly ran to the best bakery and bough a cupcake and a card. We greeted each other with a warm hug and I gave him the cupcake and the card with much love.
I’ve decided to love him with patience, tolerance and more understanding. I’ll never know how the future will go but all I can do is hope for the best with the Cheese Ball if my life . . .

Lonely walk

Posted: March 7, 2014 in Depressed
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ertert

Depression . . .  something we all go through at one point.
For a while I have been living in that point.
Not having the nerve to face life’s difficult turns.
“Just take this life away. Take it all”
I yell looking at the clear morning sky.
As I yell “Take it all” warm tears starts to gush out from my eyes.
Weary of this lonely walk.
Wearied by been walked away, when will this end for me?

dreaming
How often do we remember our dreams?
I have been dreaming of us together lately,
Remembered every second of it
Happiness is at least having you in my dreams.
It’s been awhile since we spoke.
Reason for our end remains a mystery.
You shut me down and I moved on.
But lately I’ve been dreaming on you.
February, I saw us together.
What does it mean? I still miss you.
And nothing has changed.
March, I dream of you
Saw us together.
Your bear hugs and your embrace
Much needed happiness.
I miss you and I want you more.
You are not coming back.
And I have to move on.
Happiness is at least having you in my dreams.

Cowardly Lion

Posted: March 3, 2014 in Attitude, Depressed
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I have had it all
Gone through life’s ups and downs
Partied hard
Prayed hard
Lived quite a glamorous life, but now I want out!
Family won’t understand.
Friends have abandoned me.
Even in the middle of a crowed I feel lonely.
Happiness seems so out of reach,
Every day someone hanged themselves,
Commits suicide or jumps off a tall building.
Where do they find the guts to do it?
Where does all the courage come from?
I feel as if I’m the cowardly lion from Oz.
All talk but no action.
There are times I feel stupid even thinking about ending my life.
And most of the time I wish I had the courage to do so.
Levels of depression keep on fluctuating.
Will taking my life take away the pain and all its misery?

lion

It was all about the lies

Posted: February 28, 2014 in Dating
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Chapters were closed on Tuesday evening by me when my new boyfriend went all silent on me from last Friday, even after making plans for the weekend. Suddenly he cancelled on me saying something came up and that he’ll call and tell all about it. The call never came. Saturday, some woman has written on his face book wall saying “is the party still going on?” Sunday no news from him, Monday, photos was tagged from a hiking trip, posing with pretty looking girls. Feelings of neglect hovering me but still managed to keep my head held high.

Tuesday morning a message was sent by him saying “Sorry for not keeping in touch. Had to go through some rough patches. But now ok. How you?” after all those days of silence, I’m sure he didn’t expect a reply pronto. He must have thought that I was an utter idiot. Then and there I decided to drop him like it’s hot. Can you blame me? To all of his desperate messages I only replied saying “I hope you are recovering from your rough situation. I don’t think you and I are working out” he asked for reasons but I didn’t owe him any. The explanation was black and white but not sure if he’d have the brains to figure it out either.
One of our mutual friends asked about the breakup and I poured my concerns out to her just to take the load off of my cheats. Eventually she’s pass the message to him. All he had to do was be transparent with me. I would have been disappointed because our weekend plans were cancelled but would have never said no if he wanted to hang out with his girl/ boyfriends. It was all about the lies. He has not contacted me ever since. Guess he figured it out after all . . .