MARRIED LIFE

As I sit in one corner on my laptop and my husband occupies the other corner playing FIFA 17, I realize that we’ve been in silence for the past three hours. Although we often spend our weekends like this, it feels different today. I usually take the initiative to talk or show affection to him, but today, I didn’t feel like doing any of that. He didn’t seem to mind either. I made him a small snack to go with his drink, but he took it without saying a word. I ate my share of the snack and watched some South Park, but eventually grew bored.

Is this what married life is supposed to be like? Shouldn’t we be doing things together as a couple instead of being slaves to our devices? Whatever happened to conversations?

My husband’s hobbies consist of playing video games, drinking, and smoking. I’ve urged him countless times to quit smoking and even ordered nicotine patches, but he still continues to smoke. He claims to have limited himself to five cigarettes a day for the past 24 months, but that’s not enough. I’ve stopped nagging him about it, but it still bothers me.

Although I enjoy staying at home, I don’t mind going out for dates or activities with my husband. However, he only likes going out for dinner or drinks with his friends, and when I suggest doing something as a couple, he gets defensive. I’ve asked him about it multiple times, but he hasn’t given me a satisfactory answer.

Lately, life has been a routine for me: wake up, make breakfast and tea, shower, go to work, come back, prepare dinner, and make my husband tea when he calls. By 9:30 pm, we’re both exhausted and ready for bed. I can’t complain about my job because it pays poorly, and my self-esteem is suffering. To make things worse, a colleague is trying to turn me against my boss.

I’m feeling confused and trying to figure out who I am and what I want to do with my life. Is it too late?